I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
