youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
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