We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize