you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
