When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
I don't think brook has ever known best
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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