Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Randomize
