what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
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there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
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