Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
i believe in u and ur pee
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