You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
