That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize