I think I died a long time ago.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
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