im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
