How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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