No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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