I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
