Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
