singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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