About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
they call him Oral-B. enough said
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
