that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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