I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
