Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
