so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize