I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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