He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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