he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
