That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
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