I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
