So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
