I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
