all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
