He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
