Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
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Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
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Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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