Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Never joke about your clitoris.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
