i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
