To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
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his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
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Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
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