is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
