Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
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It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
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Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
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