at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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