She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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