this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize
