well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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