So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
