I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
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my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
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Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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