ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
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