I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
