Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
