these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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