her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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