HIV tests are more positive than that guy
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
