I wish you could order shots online.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize
