If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
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He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
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Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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