To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
