Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Randomize
