Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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