He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
